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Archive for hurt

Power of Words – Voices of our Choices Part 2

In the last post, we talked about the need to understand that everything has a voice.

Today, we will look at understanding the power of choosing our words.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I just had to say what I thought”?

No matter what thoughts enter our brain, our words are always a choice unless we have “given that power away.”

3 ways we can give away the power to choose our words

1. Power given by the act of being thoughtless

When we allow ourselves to lack restraint, we give the power to choose over to our personal “thoughtless” attitude. It starts with small bursts of just “letting go” and allowing anything to come out of our mouths, without even considering the impact. It starts to grows as we permit it to happen and count on loved ones to forgive us. At some point, the “thoughtless” attitude moves front and center, and we find that we have given the power to choose our words over to our emotions.

argument-essay-28882. Power given away by believing in justification

When we allow a hurt we experience to grow in us, the mind believes that hurting others is justified because we’ve been hurt. We justify hurtful words based on previous hurtful words and it creates a vicious cycle.  At that point, we give away our power to choose our words to the actions of someone else.

Power given away by pressure to not be yourself

When who were are is made to feel like that is not enough, we begin to use words of untruth to paint a picture of ourselves that is not real. We give the power of our words over to the pressure to perform other that what and who we are.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000We must understand if we give away the power to choose our words, then we will be opening ourselves up to the results of words that we did not choose. Instead, our words will be of our past hurts, untruths of our imagination or the expectations of others. If you find yourself in any of these situations, take steps to change these habits so the power to choose your words is yours again.


It is my desire to inspire you to guard the gift of your voice and your choice. Do not to give it over to anyone or anything, if you want a well-crafted life and legacy for yourself!


Best Thing To Do When People Are Hurting

hassle while nuggetHurting is not foreign to anyone.  It could be emotional, physical, spiritual or financial. But hurt unforgivably visits us all at some point.

Hurting, as common as it is, should never be avoided, ignored, or casually cast off to the “I can’t change it” stack.  You know what I mean. Your coworker is hurting because she had a miscarriage. You have four healthy children, and you can not relate so you avoid eye contact. The whole conversation makes you uncomfortable.

So what do you do?

Do what life has trained you to do. Just be you!

Do you love to bake? Take her some homemade cookies with a little note on top that says, “I’m thinking of you.”

Maybe you are a writer. Pen a poem about God’s love for her and drop it in the snail mail.

Do you have the gift of storytelling? Grab her at lunch time and get some pizza together. Tell her your most recent funny story to give her a few moments of no thinking required laughter.

3 Ways to Help When Someone in Your Life is Hurting

  1. Pray – Oswald Chambers said in his book, If You Will Ask, “Prayer nourishes the life of God.”  When we pray for someone that is hurting, we align our life and behavior with the heart and plan of God for that person.  In addition, prayer will, by the Spirit, nourish the soul of that person enabling them to press through in being an overcomer.
  2. Present – Your presence being the same as it always has been will give them faith and hope that it will be ok. If you pull away when they hurt, they will read that as you have given up on them and the situation they are struggling with.
  3. Provide – We all have gifts and talents. Regardless of how “non-special” we feel they are, others feel it is special.  For me, I am a card sender.  I have been mailing cards to people since I was young. If my insecurity of what to say to them stops me from being me, then I have just made the hurt even bigger to them. Be you and be hassle free.

It is my desire to inspire you to do what you know to do – nothing more and nothing less. When hurt shows up in someone’s life, they are not asking you to take it away or be the answer to the problem. They just need now, more than ever, for you to be you.

Share below about a time that someone helped you through a hurting time by just being themselves.

Also, if you’re hurting right now, email me your address, and I will “snail” mail you a card!